Classic joke thread...

[philw]

Have you noticed that if you rearrange the words 'illegal immigrants' and add a few more letters, it spells out: 'F*ck off and go home you hairy faced, sandal wearing, bomb making, benefit grabbing, goat f*cking, smelly rag-head bastards?'
 
How weird is that??

[philw]

Forensic Detective !


http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=_zVQ8WcuQh0

hahahahaha

[Fatman]

A man walks into Chinese Natural Medicine office and asks to see the doctor. He fills out a form with his personal information and a description of his problem. A short time later , he is shown to an examination room where the doctor is looking over his paperwork.

"Ah, hello," says the doctor, "it say here your member is extremely discolored in an odd pattern, lumpy and causes much pain to you. Please to show."

After examining the poor fellow and much "ah, aha, mmm"ing, the doctor asks the man, "Why  you here?"

"What do you mean, why am I here? Isn't it obvious?", the exasperated man replied and continued, " I've been to 6 American doctors and they all tell me the same thing. They want to amputate!"

The Chinese doctor burst out laughing and slapped his knee. "Western medicine knows nothing of these matters. We Chinese have a long experience with such problems."

"Oh, what a relief!", sighed the patient, "so I don't have to have it amputated?"

"No, no - no need to amputate," said the doctor with a toothy grin, "it fall off by itself."

[Teresa Heilevang]

Christmas Bird



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZfqCFEHlw9I

[Bill Stryker]

Quote of the day:

"Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater. If you give her sperm,
she'll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she'll give you a home. If
you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal. If you give her a smile,
she'll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her.


So, if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of shit .
 

[Sponsor]

[ericire12]

I've had to learn that one the hard way!













































Never give a woman your sperm!

[Bill Stryker]

THE  GEOGRAPHY OF A WOMAN.....
   
Between  18 and 22, a woman is like Africa; half  discovered,
Half  wild, fertile and naturally beautiful!

Between 23 and 30,  a woman is like Europe; well  developed and open  to trade, especially for someone with cash.

Between 31  and 35, a woman is  like Spain; very  hot, relaxed, and  convinced of her own beauty.

Between 36 and 40, a woman  is like Greece; gently  aging but still a  warm and desirable place to visit.

Between 41 and 50, a  woman is  like Great  Britain;  with a
Glorious  and all conquering past.

Between 51 and 60, a woman is  like Israel; has  been through war  and doesn't make the same mistakes twice, takes care of business.

Between  61 and 70, a woman is  like Canada;  self-preserving, but open to meeting new  people.

After 70, she  becomes Tibet; wildly  beautiful, with a mysterious past and the wisdom of  the ages...only those with an adventurous spirit and  a thirst for spiritual knowledge visit there.


THE  GEOGRAPHY OF A MAN....

Between  1 and 70, a man is  like Iran;  ruled by nuts.
 

[PegLeg45]

You'll get the 'joke' if you listen all the way to the end:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LUteO5XXrJI

"we got Brack O-bama"

 

[mudman]

 Sad

[Big Frank]

This year we'll be rich because we got black Obama?