Author Topic: Classic joke thread...  (Read 1380462 times)

Steyr M40A1

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #1850 on: May 12, 2009, 07:27:32 PM »
So this is how swine flu got started.



Cute but still gross.
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Teresa Heilevang

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #1851 on: May 12, 2009, 07:52:11 PM »
DEAR  MADAM:

THANK YOU FOR YOUR RECENT ORDER FROM OUR  SEX TOYS  SHOP.
 
YOU  ASKED FOR THE LARGE RED VIBRATOR AS FEATURED ON OUR  WALL  DISPLAY.
 
PLEASE  SELECT ANOTHER ITEM BECAUSE THAT IS OUR FIRE  EXTINGUISHER.
  :o
"Well Behaved Women Rarely Make History ! "
 

Hazcat

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #1852 on: May 12, 2009, 08:04:30 PM »
DEAR  MADAM:

THANK YOU FOR YOUR RECENT ORDER FROM OUR  SEX TOYS  SHOP.
 
YOU  ASKED FOR THE LARGE RED VIBRATOR AS FEATURED ON OUR  WALL  DISPLAY.
 
PLEASE  SELECT ANOTHER ITEM BECAUSE THAT IS OUR FIRE  EXTINGUISHER.
  :o


All tipoes and misspelings are copi-righted.  Pleeze do not reuse without ritten persimmons  :D

brosometal

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #1853 on: May 13, 2009, 11:58:05 AM »
Just a pic
The person who has nothing for which his is willing to fight, nothing which is more important than his own personal safety is a miserable creature and has no chance of being free unless made and kept so by the exertions of better men than himself.
- J.S. Mill

PegLeg45

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #1854 on: May 13, 2009, 03:03:25 PM »
Folks, just remember as you read this, this person probably drives..,AND votes!
And may have already reproduced…
"I expect perdition, I always have. I keep this building at my back, and several guns handy, in case perdition arrives in a form that's susceptible to bullets. I expect it will come in the disease form, though. I'm susceptible to diseases, and you can't shoot a damned disease." ~ Judge Roy Bean, Streets of Laredo

For the Patriots of this country, the Constitution is second only to the Bible for most. For those who love this country, but do not share my personal beliefs, it is their Bible. To them nothing comes before the Constitution of these United States of America. For this we are all labeled potential terrorists. ~ Dean Garrison

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #1855 on: Today at 03:07:34 AM »

tt11758

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #1855 on: May 13, 2009, 05:33:16 PM »
Praying at Work.































Hail Mary, full of grace...........................




;D
I love waking up every morning knowing that Donald Trump is President!!

Big Frank

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #1856 on: May 13, 2009, 09:37:51 PM »
This one made me LOL.
""It may be laid down as a primary position, and the basis of our system, that every Citizen who enjoys the protection of a free Government, owes not only a proportion of his property, but even his personal services to the defence of it, and consequently that the Citizens of America (with a few legal and official exceptions) from 18 to 50 Years of Age should be borne on the Militia Rolls, provided with uniform Arms, and so far accustomed to the use of them, that the Total strength of the Country might be called forth at a Short Notice on any very interesting Emergency." - George Washington. Letter to Alexander Hamilton, Friday, May 02, 1783

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philw

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #1857 on: May 14, 2009, 05:16:04 AM »

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QC0uGcorAl0    :o

got to love TV Adds 
Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can praise them, disagree with them, quote them, disbelieve them, glorify or vilify them. The only thing you can’t do is ignore them

MikeBjerum

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #1858 on: May 14, 2009, 04:29:51 PM »
Sam died. His will provided $30,000 for an elaborate funeral.
As the last guests departed the affair, his wife Sarah turned to her oldest and dearest friend. "Well, I'm sure Sam would be pleased," she said.

"I'm sure you're right," replied Jody, who lowered her voice and leaned in close. "How much did this really cost?"

"All of it," said Sarah . "Thirty thousand."

"No!" Jody exclaimed. "I mean, it was very nice, but $30,000?"

Sarah answered, "The funeral was $6,500. I donated $500 to the synagogue.

The whiskey, wine and snacks were another $500.

The rest went for the Memorial Stone."

Jody computed quickly. "$22,500 for a Memorial Stone?

My goodness, how big is it ?" ............................
 
 
 



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Bill Stryker

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #1859 on: May 14, 2009, 08:51:01 PM »
Fred and Larry get married in California .

They couldn't afford a honeymoon. So, they go back to Fred's Mom and Dad's house for their first married night together.

In the morning, Johnny, Fred's little brother, gets up and has his breakfast. As he is going out of the door to go to school, he asks his mom if Fred and Larry are up yet.

She replies, 'No'.

Johnny asks, 'Do you know what I think?'

His mom replies, 'I don't want to hear what you think! Just go to school.'

Johnny comes home for lunch and asks his mom, 'Are Fred and Larry up yet?'

She replies, 'No.'

Johnny says, 'Do you know what I think?'

His mom replies, 'Never mind what you think! Eat your lunch and go back to school '

After school, Johnny comes home and asks again, 'Are Fred and Larry up yet?'

His mom says, 'No.'

He asks, 'Do you know what I think?'

His mom replies, 'Ok, now tell me what you think?'

He says: 'Last night Fred came to my room and asked me if I had any Vaseline and I think... I gave him my airplane glue. ;D ;)
 

 

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