Author Topic: Classic joke thread...  (Read 1380457 times)

Big Frank

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #5900 on: June 06, 2024, 01:29:06 AM »
Speaking of drugs... When I opened up my last bottle of Bacardi the aroma wafted out of the bottle and it smelled delicious. That got me thinking. Uh-oh! So I made a meme. I love the smell of dark rum in the morning. If anyone wants to complete it; It smells like...

I was thinking of this picture a couple days ago when I saw a preview of Apocalypse Now, and decided to make a new version of it. The yellow background and green and black text colors are copied from the 1st Cavalry Division Shoulder Sleeve Insignia. The green text is 2-3 pixels down and left of the black text. I don't know if it looks like double-vision or shadows, but I like it. I replaced the M16 in the hand of the soldier on the right with a bottle of BACARDÍ Gold Rum. It was a pain to replace parts of the rifle and bottle images with colors from the background one pixel at a time and blend it together, but I think it turned out really well.

This is the new lock screen on my laptop. When I go up north for the 4th of July and hook my laptop up to my new projector (or my friend's TV) for movie night, everyone will get to see this on the lock screen when I turn on the laptop. Then it will fade into the background on the sign-in screen. I made it 1366x768 pixels to exactly fit the 15.6" laptop, which by the way has lower resolution than my 5.7" cell phone, which is 1512x720. That's 39,552 MORE pixels on a screen that's a fraction of the size of the laptop. 1,088,640 vs. 1,049,088, almost 4% more pixels in what looks like less than 15% of the space but I haven't figured it out. If I use the picture as a background, the taskbar will cover the text on the bottom and only show a yellow stripe. I use Bing Wallpaper to have a different image every day, but I tried it to see how much would of the bottom of the pic would show.

The laptop also uses TN-effect display and has a very limited viewing angle, but still doesn't look good at the perfect angle. That's why I only watch something on it while lying in bed, and not very long or often. It sucks. My desktop monitor looks good from any angle you can see it from, 179 degrees side to side. This is what a TN monitor looks like compares to an IPS monitor, and my laptop is even worse. The only way I can get the picture dark enough at night is to lean the screen back away from me, but can't go too far back  or it blacks everything out. Anyone buying a laptop or monitor should keep this in mind and look at the screen from different angles.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uwDMhXUyGQ0 

I can't drink any rum because I'm taking Tylenol 3s after getting the roots of my 2 broken teeth, and 1 wisdom tooth pulled Tuesday. I've only been walking around with exposed roots since April. No wonder I had to start taking antibiotics again. I'm back on my meds but my blood pressure was still dangerously high and the dentist couldn't use the regular numbing medicine, I think he said epinephrine, so he injected me with some other stuff that doesn't work nearly as well, and apparently doesn't do anything to slow down bleeding. He had to sew up the holes to slow it down. The pain of getting the teeth pulled was excruciating, and I have to wait until next month to see if my BP is low enough for the good meds so I can get more work done. One of my font teeth split down the middle making it hard to sleep for the last week. It's not as bad after I put some super glue gel on it to seal the crack and help stabilize the 2 halves, kind of like putting a cast on a broken bone. When I texted my friend at work and told him all about it, I asked him how his day was, and he said even though he at work, it was better than mine. ;D  That's just what I expected to hear.
""It may be laid down as a primary position, and the basis of our system, that every Citizen who enjoys the protection of a free Government, owes not only a proportion of his property, but even his personal services to the defence of it, and consequently that the Citizens of America (with a few legal and official exceptions) from 18 to 50 Years of Age should be borne on the Militia Rolls, provided with uniform Arms, and so far accustomed to the use of them, that the Total strength of the Country might be called forth at a Short Notice on any very interesting Emergency." - George Washington. Letter to Alexander Hamilton, Friday, May 02, 1783

THE RIGHT TO BUY WEAPONS IS THE RIGHT TO BE FREE - A. E. van Vogt, The Weapon Shops of Isher

Big Frank

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #5901 on: June 07, 2024, 10:59:53 PM »
I tried texting my friend right about the time he was on his way to work yesterday but accidentally texted my younger brother instead. Their names are one above the other in my contacts. I was trying to funny and told him the dentist broke some small pieces of bone when he pulled my teeth, and I'm taking antibiotics because I have an infection in my broken jawbone. I said, "But at least I don't have to work. It sucks to be you. :)"

My brother texted me back and said yep. He's back on 9 hours because they got rid of a lot of temps. :)  It really does suck to be him too. But my jaw hurts so bad I'm not laughing much today. I'll be hitting the absinthe hard tonight after I eat.
""It may be laid down as a primary position, and the basis of our system, that every Citizen who enjoys the protection of a free Government, owes not only a proportion of his property, but even his personal services to the defence of it, and consequently that the Citizens of America (with a few legal and official exceptions) from 18 to 50 Years of Age should be borne on the Militia Rolls, provided with uniform Arms, and so far accustomed to the use of them, that the Total strength of the Country might be called forth at a Short Notice on any very interesting Emergency." - George Washington. Letter to Alexander Hamilton, Friday, May 02, 1783

THE RIGHT TO BUY WEAPONS IS THE RIGHT TO BE FREE - A. E. van Vogt, The Weapon Shops of Isher

Big Frank

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #5902 on: June 09, 2024, 09:47:58 AM »
He may gotten the lyrics crossed up.  ;D


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xe34d8dDm7w
""It may be laid down as a primary position, and the basis of our system, that every Citizen who enjoys the protection of a free Government, owes not only a proportion of his property, but even his personal services to the defence of it, and consequently that the Citizens of America (with a few legal and official exceptions) from 18 to 50 Years of Age should be borne on the Militia Rolls, provided with uniform Arms, and so far accustomed to the use of them, that the Total strength of the Country might be called forth at a Short Notice on any very interesting Emergency." - George Washington. Letter to Alexander Hamilton, Friday, May 02, 1783

THE RIGHT TO BUY WEAPONS IS THE RIGHT TO BE FREE - A. E. van Vogt, The Weapon Shops of Isher

Big Frank

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #5903 on: June 16, 2024, 01:28:13 AM »
I was thinking back about how bad the quarantine got in some cities, here in Dummycrap-controlled Michigan a couple years ago.
""It may be laid down as a primary position, and the basis of our system, that every Citizen who enjoys the protection of a free Government, owes not only a proportion of his property, but even his personal services to the defence of it, and consequently that the Citizens of America (with a few legal and official exceptions) from 18 to 50 Years of Age should be borne on the Militia Rolls, provided with uniform Arms, and so far accustomed to the use of them, that the Total strength of the Country might be called forth at a Short Notice on any very interesting Emergency." - George Washington. Letter to Alexander Hamilton, Friday, May 02, 1783

THE RIGHT TO BUY WEAPONS IS THE RIGHT TO BE FREE - A. E. van Vogt, The Weapon Shops of Isher

alfsauve

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #5904 on: June 16, 2024, 09:32:18 AM »
Before Apocalypse Now was made, USAF flight line workers use to say how they loved the smell of JP-4 (jet fuel in those days) in the morning.   I actually did miss it when I left. 

Now I love the smell of Tite Group.  I wonder, if like projectile fascination Yamane mentions in Gun Curious, do we have a certain smell fascination as well.  Jet Fuel, gun powder, cigars, etc.
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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #5905 on: Today at 02:37:09 AM »

PegLeg45

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #5905 on: June 17, 2024, 06:47:53 PM »
 8)
"I expect perdition, I always have. I keep this building at my back, and several guns handy, in case perdition arrives in a form that's susceptible to bullets. I expect it will come in the disease form, though. I'm susceptible to diseases, and you can't shoot a damned disease." ~ Judge Roy Bean, Streets of Laredo

For the Patriots of this country, the Constitution is second only to the Bible for most. For those who love this country, but do not share my personal beliefs, it is their Bible. To them nothing comes before the Constitution of these United States of America. For this we are all labeled potential terrorists. ~ Dean Garrison

"When it comes to the enemy, just because they ain't pullin' a trigger, doesn't mean they ain't totin' ammo for those that are."~PegLeg

alfsauve

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #5906 on: June 17, 2024, 07:36:00 PM »
Sad news on the economic front today.  The company that makes yard sticks. They aren’t going to make them any longer.
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Big Frank

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #5907 on: June 18, 2024, 03:07:10 AM »
Sad news on the economic front today.  The company that makes yard sticks. They aren’t going to make them any longer.

I heard they were, but they're going to start calling them meter sticks. ;D
""It may be laid down as a primary position, and the basis of our system, that every Citizen who enjoys the protection of a free Government, owes not only a proportion of his property, but even his personal services to the defence of it, and consequently that the Citizens of America (with a few legal and official exceptions) from 18 to 50 Years of Age should be borne on the Militia Rolls, provided with uniform Arms, and so far accustomed to the use of them, that the Total strength of the Country might be called forth at a Short Notice on any very interesting Emergency." - George Washington. Letter to Alexander Hamilton, Friday, May 02, 1783

THE RIGHT TO BUY WEAPONS IS THE RIGHT TO BE FREE - A. E. van Vogt, The Weapon Shops of Isher

alfsauve

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #5908 on: June 18, 2024, 11:14:55 AM »
I heard they were, but they're going to start calling them meter sticks. ;D

That's a British company you're thinking of and they think the American companies are coming up a little short.
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USAF MAC 437th MAW 1968-1972

Jim Kennedy-ar154me

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #5909 on: June 19, 2024, 12:23:57 PM »
Yep.
The time for action is upon us and the enemy is at our gates. Let us not allow them one more inch of advancement but instead throw them through the gates of Hell.

 

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