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Author Topic: Classic joke thread...  (Read 1412215 times)

PegLeg45

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #6000 on: February 14, 2025, 08:36:33 PM »
 :o
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"I expect perdition, I always have. I keep this building at my back, and several guns handy, in case perdition arrives in a form that's susceptible to bullets. I expect it will come in the disease form, though. I'm susceptible to diseases, and you can't shoot a damned disease." ~ Judge Roy Bean, Streets of Laredo

For the Patriots of this country, the Constitution is second only to the Bible for most. For those who love this country, but do not share my personal beliefs, it is their Bible. To them nothing comes before the Constitution of these United States of America. For this we are all labeled potential terrorists. ~ Dean Garrison

"When it comes to the enemy, just because they ain't pullin' a trigger, doesn't mean they ain't totin' ammo for those that are."~PegLeg

Big Frank

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #6001 on: February 14, 2025, 10:34:55 PM »
Cameltoe-butt?  ???
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""It may be laid down as a primary position, and the basis of our system, that every Citizen who enjoys the protection of a free Government, owes not only a proportion of his property, but even his personal services to the defence of it, and consequently that the Citizens of America (with a few legal and official exceptions) from 18 to 50 Years of Age should be borne on the Militia Rolls, provided with uniform Arms, and so far accustomed to the use of them, that the Total strength of the Country might be called forth at a Short Notice on any very interesting Emergency." - George Washington. Letter to Alexander Hamilton, Friday, May 02, 1783

THE RIGHT TO BUY WEAPONS IS THE RIGHT TO BE FREE - A. E. van Vogt, The Weapon Shops of Isher

Big Frank

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #6002 on: February 14, 2025, 11:06:15 PM »
Just playing around with a pic from an email from Ranger Point Precision.
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""It may be laid down as a primary position, and the basis of our system, that every Citizen who enjoys the protection of a free Government, owes not only a proportion of his property, but even his personal services to the defence of it, and consequently that the Citizens of America (with a few legal and official exceptions) from 18 to 50 Years of Age should be borne on the Militia Rolls, provided with uniform Arms, and so far accustomed to the use of them, that the Total strength of the Country might be called forth at a Short Notice on any very interesting Emergency." - George Washington. Letter to Alexander Hamilton, Friday, May 02, 1783

THE RIGHT TO BUY WEAPONS IS THE RIGHT TO BE FREE - A. E. van Vogt, The Weapon Shops of Isher

Big Frank

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #6003 on: February 16, 2025, 01:49:51 PM »
I think I posted the original pics separately before but just combined them. My friend's German Shepherd and Yellow Lab when he was a puppy. And the toy versions from Family Home and Farm. Between the driveway to my friend's cabin and where the neighbor's driveway veers off, there's a big tree with flowers planted around it, and all kinds of figurines including Smurfs. A diecast scale model of my red Polaris Sportsman 500 ATV is parked there, and the dogs are there too. To give you an ideas of the scale, the German Shepherd is 2.6" long. I think the real one is around 90 pounds. The funny part is, I just found out that Schleich, the German toy company that made the toy dogs, makes the best known and most widely available Smurf figurines in the world. Now I'll have to buy Smurfs to go in the Smurf village, or just 1 Smurf. Maybe Grouchy Smurf since my expression looks so much like his 99% of the time. 😐

https://www.familyfarmandhome.com/

https://us.schleich-s.com/search?q=smurfs&type=product
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""It may be laid down as a primary position, and the basis of our system, that every Citizen who enjoys the protection of a free Government, owes not only a proportion of his property, but even his personal services to the defence of it, and consequently that the Citizens of America (with a few legal and official exceptions) from 18 to 50 Years of Age should be borne on the Militia Rolls, provided with uniform Arms, and so far accustomed to the use of them, that the Total strength of the Country might be called forth at a Short Notice on any very interesting Emergency." - George Washington. Letter to Alexander Hamilton, Friday, May 02, 1783

THE RIGHT TO BUY WEAPONS IS THE RIGHT TO BE FREE - A. E. van Vogt, The Weapon Shops of Isher

Big Frank

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #6004 on: February 16, 2025, 07:26:33 PM »
The bad news: What happens in Vegas doesn't stay in Vegas. :(

The good news: A course of antibiotics should clear it right up. :)
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""It may be laid down as a primary position, and the basis of our system, that every Citizen who enjoys the protection of a free Government, owes not only a proportion of his property, but even his personal services to the defence of it, and consequently that the Citizens of America (with a few legal and official exceptions) from 18 to 50 Years of Age should be borne on the Militia Rolls, provided with uniform Arms, and so far accustomed to the use of them, that the Total strength of the Country might be called forth at a Short Notice on any very interesting Emergency." - George Washington. Letter to Alexander Hamilton, Friday, May 02, 1783

THE RIGHT TO BUY WEAPONS IS THE RIGHT TO BE FREE - A. E. van Vogt, The Weapon Shops of Isher

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #6005 on: Today at 11:17:01 AM »
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Big Frank

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #6005 on: February 17, 2025, 11:33:38 AM »
I don't know if I ever posted about this before but I think it's funny.

What began as a crazy idea among police friends is quickly becoming an international phenomenon. This doughnut shop and bakery has been in constant operation since 1896. This foundation business was within weeks of closing when the members of the Clare Police Department came to the rescue. All of them. That's right, all nine members of the local police department banded together to save this historic business. Dubbed "Cops and Doughnuts," the business boasts handmade confections of all types. Join us for a warm fresh doughnut and a steaming cup of coffee while you enjoy the police decor and friendly, and very safe, atmosphere. Come see what everyone is talking about. Open seven days a week.

All the cops were like, oh no! We can't let the donut shop close. Where will we hang out all day without it?

https://copsdoughnuts.com/

That one T-shirt made me want to see this video., and some that it inspired. :) They even named a firework after it.



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x4YGotz_MoA


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BoWfc8UDqxk


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ycOP4i8UFec


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RelMNcu7LOI


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rEjJr4_lBV0


Besides donuts that are supposed to be good, they have lots of merch and some of it's quite funny.
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""It may be laid down as a primary position, and the basis of our system, that every Citizen who enjoys the protection of a free Government, owes not only a proportion of his property, but even his personal services to the defence of it, and consequently that the Citizens of America (with a few legal and official exceptions) from 18 to 50 Years of Age should be borne on the Militia Rolls, provided with uniform Arms, and so far accustomed to the use of them, that the Total strength of the Country might be called forth at a Short Notice on any very interesting Emergency." - George Washington. Letter to Alexander Hamilton, Friday, May 02, 1783

THE RIGHT TO BUY WEAPONS IS THE RIGHT TO BE FREE - A. E. van Vogt, The Weapon Shops of Isher

Big Frank

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #6006 on: February 21, 2025, 08:37:06 PM »
Do you prefer blondes, brunettes, or redheads? Yes!

Someone on another thread said, "I'd rather molest a bobcat in a phone booth than ever be involved with a red head again!!!"

That's the way I look at marriage. I tried it once and didn't like it. No need to do it again.
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""It may be laid down as a primary position, and the basis of our system, that every Citizen who enjoys the protection of a free Government, owes not only a proportion of his property, but even his personal services to the defence of it, and consequently that the Citizens of America (with a few legal and official exceptions) from 18 to 50 Years of Age should be borne on the Militia Rolls, provided with uniform Arms, and so far accustomed to the use of them, that the Total strength of the Country might be called forth at a Short Notice on any very interesting Emergency." - George Washington. Letter to Alexander Hamilton, Friday, May 02, 1783

THE RIGHT TO BUY WEAPONS IS THE RIGHT TO BE FREE - A. E. van Vogt, The Weapon Shops of Isher

TAB

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #6007 on: Yesterday at 10:48:53 AM »
What do women and swimming pools have in common?


They are both insanely expensive for the amount of time you spend in them.
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I always break all the clay pigeons,  some times its even with lead.

Big Frank

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #6008 on: Today at 05:37:20 AM »
Quote from: TAB on Yesterday at 10:48:53 AM
What do women and swimming pools have in common?


They are both insanely expensive for the amount of time you spend in them.

The wetter, the better. :)
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""It may be laid down as a primary position, and the basis of our system, that every Citizen who enjoys the protection of a free Government, owes not only a proportion of his property, but even his personal services to the defence of it, and consequently that the Citizens of America (with a few legal and official exceptions) from 18 to 50 Years of Age should be borne on the Militia Rolls, provided with uniform Arms, and so far accustomed to the use of them, that the Total strength of the Country might be called forth at a Short Notice on any very interesting Emergency." - George Washington. Letter to Alexander Hamilton, Friday, May 02, 1783

THE RIGHT TO BUY WEAPONS IS THE RIGHT TO BE FREE - A. E. van Vogt, The Weapon Shops of Isher

Big Frank

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #6009 on: Today at 05:39:49 AM »
I'm not saying my nephew is stupid, but I did see him sorting through a bag of m&ms, throwing out any that had a w, 3, or E on them, instead of an m.
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""It may be laid down as a primary position, and the basis of our system, that every Citizen who enjoys the protection of a free Government, owes not only a proportion of his property, but even his personal services to the defence of it, and consequently that the Citizens of America (with a few legal and official exceptions) from 18 to 50 Years of Age should be borne on the Militia Rolls, provided with uniform Arms, and so far accustomed to the use of them, that the Total strength of the Country might be called forth at a Short Notice on any very interesting Emergency." - George Washington. Letter to Alexander Hamilton, Friday, May 02, 1783

THE RIGHT TO BUY WEAPONS IS THE RIGHT TO BE FREE - A. E. van Vogt, The Weapon Shops of Isher
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