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Author Topic: Classic joke thread...  (Read 1419348 times)

Big Frank

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #6020 on: March 20, 2025, 04:51:19 AM »
I'm watching a YouTube video about people doing stupid things. There's a picture of a woman with her hands cupped, catching water that's streaming in a bidet. She posted it with the question, "Why are the drinking fountains so short in Europe?" :o I don't know if she was an American, but it wouldn't surprise me. As a group, we aren't the best and brightest in the world. :-[ 
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""It may be laid down as a primary position, and the basis of our system, that every Citizen who enjoys the protection of a free Government, owes not only a proportion of his property, but even his personal services to the defence of it, and consequently that the Citizens of America (with a few legal and official exceptions) from 18 to 50 Years of Age should be borne on the Militia Rolls, provided with uniform Arms, and so far accustomed to the use of them, that the Total strength of the Country might be called forth at a Short Notice on any very interesting Emergency." - George Washington. Letter to Alexander Hamilton, Friday, May 02, 1783

THE RIGHT TO BUY WEAPONS IS THE RIGHT TO BE FREE - A. E. van Vogt, The Weapon Shops of Isher

TAB

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #6021 on: March 23, 2025, 10:46:32 PM »
Women are a lot like bacon. They smell amazing taste great but slowly kill you
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I always break all the clay pigeons,  some times its even with lead.

Big Frank

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #6022 on: March 24, 2025, 01:37:51 AM »
According to Michael Douglas, eating bacon strips can cause mouth cancer. :o  But not as bad as smoking, and it tastes a lot better. :P
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""It may be laid down as a primary position, and the basis of our system, that every Citizen who enjoys the protection of a free Government, owes not only a proportion of his property, but even his personal services to the defence of it, and consequently that the Citizens of America (with a few legal and official exceptions) from 18 to 50 Years of Age should be borne on the Militia Rolls, provided with uniform Arms, and so far accustomed to the use of them, that the Total strength of the Country might be called forth at a Short Notice on any very interesting Emergency." - George Washington. Letter to Alexander Hamilton, Friday, May 02, 1783

THE RIGHT TO BUY WEAPONS IS THE RIGHT TO BE FREE - A. E. van Vogt, The Weapon Shops of Isher

PegLeg45

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #6023 on: March 31, 2025, 09:06:52 AM »
Have you ever heard of the Greek hero Bophades?

He was one of the heroes who fought in the Trojan War. His story is very similar to the story of Achilles.
When he was a child, his mother held him by the groin and dipped him in the river Styx, as to make him invincible in battle. However, just like Achilles, he had a weak spot.
Because his mother held him by the groin, this was where he became vulnerable.
Just as in the case of Achilles, this was his heel.
So you may have heard of Achilles' heel, but I bet you've never heard of Bophades nuts.
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"I expect perdition, I always have. I keep this building at my back, and several guns handy, in case perdition arrives in a form that's susceptible to bullets. I expect it will come in the disease form, though. I'm susceptible to diseases, and you can't shoot a damned disease." ~ Judge Roy Bean, Streets of Laredo

For the Patriots of this country, the Constitution is second only to the Bible for most. For those who love this country, but do not share my personal beliefs, it is their Bible. To them nothing comes before the Constitution of these United States of America. For this we are all labeled potential terrorists. ~ Dean Garrison

"When it comes to the enemy, just because they ain't pullin' a trigger, doesn't mean they ain't totin' ammo for those that are."~PegLeg

Jim Kennedy-ar154me

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #6024 on: Yesterday at 10:32:17 AM »
A little boy and girl attended the same elementary school and became very good friends. Every day they would sit and eat lunch together.

They discovered that they both brought chicken sandwiches every day. All the way through the 4th and 5th grade, until one day the boy noticed the girl didn't bring a chicken sandwich with her that day.

The boy asked the girl, "Hey, how come you're not eating chicken? Do you not like it anymore?

She said, "I love it, but I have to stop eating it."

"Why?" asked the boy.

She pointed to her lap and said, "Because I'm starting to grow little feathers down there!"

He said, "Let me see."

"Okay," she replied, and she showed him.

He looked and said, "Wow, that's right, you are! You better not eat any more chicken sandwiches."

Then, one day, the boy brought in a peanut butter sandwich and told the girl that he, too, had to quit eating chicken sandwiches. "I'm getting feathers down there too."

She asked if she could see it, so he showed her.

She said, "Oh, MY God, it's too late for you. You've already got the neck and goblets!!!"










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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #6025 on: Today at 08:43:12 AM »
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Big Frank

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #6025 on: Yesterday at 08:51:37 PM »
I joined a new gym called Futility and started an exercise program there. :-\
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""It may be laid down as a primary position, and the basis of our system, that every Citizen who enjoys the protection of a free Government, owes not only a proportion of his property, but even his personal services to the defence of it, and consequently that the Citizens of America (with a few legal and official exceptions) from 18 to 50 Years of Age should be borne on the Militia Rolls, provided with uniform Arms, and so far accustomed to the use of them, that the Total strength of the Country might be called forth at a Short Notice on any very interesting Emergency." - George Washington. Letter to Alexander Hamilton, Friday, May 02, 1783

THE RIGHT TO BUY WEAPONS IS THE RIGHT TO BE FREE - A. E. van Vogt, The Weapon Shops of Isher

Big Frank

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Re: Classic joke thread...
« Reply #6026 on: Yesterday at 08:55:23 PM »
There are over 100 Smurfs in Smurf Village. And over 100 of them are male. No wonder Smurfs have blue balls.
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""It may be laid down as a primary position, and the basis of our system, that every Citizen who enjoys the protection of a free Government, owes not only a proportion of his property, but even his personal services to the defence of it, and consequently that the Citizens of America (with a few legal and official exceptions) from 18 to 50 Years of Age should be borne on the Militia Rolls, provided with uniform Arms, and so far accustomed to the use of them, that the Total strength of the Country might be called forth at a Short Notice on any very interesting Emergency." - George Washington. Letter to Alexander Hamilton, Friday, May 02, 1783

THE RIGHT TO BUY WEAPONS IS THE RIGHT TO BE FREE - A. E. van Vogt, The Weapon Shops of Isher
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