RW you have to forget what white is like, it should no longer be part of your persona, Sucks, but true, or only reserved for those situations where you and everyone around you can be Fat, Dumb, and Happy. I have not been in that place for a long time.
What did it for me, was Uncle Jeff Cooper, wake up everyday and decide if you have to kill someone, you will, and if it happens you made that decision before breakfast.
Watching my cat screaming to be let out, and when I do, she gets out the door and then pauses and checks her 6, 12, 3 and 9, not a bad attitude.
Go ahead Haz, bask.